resurrect a gaME

   In fiecare noapte, aproape inevitabil, primesc o invitatie trista pe Steam. Un individ cu username-ul "ME" ma invita sa joc cu el cateva runde din acum defunctul joc numit Breach. Nu am chef mereu si ma simt vinovat ca il refuz. Ne-am cunoscut pe forumurile Steam pe vremea cand fanbase-ul pentru acest joc nu murise inca, desi compania care crease acest joc facuse acest pas in neant. Eram tare incantati ca inca exista oameni care apreciaza joculetul asta desi e departe de a fi un joc bun sau macar un joc terminat.
   Short history before I continue, jocul Breach e un joc multiplayer al carui singur avantaj era motorul grafic eficient si environment-ul destructibil pana la nivele comice. A aparut pe Steam inainte de Call of Duty Black Ops, un joc pe care il asteptam cu sufletul la gura pe vremea aia. Si era doar 10 euro, asa ca am zis ca merita incercat. De amorul discutiei pot spune ca joculetul asta ma tinuse ocupat cateva ore, dar apoi a aparut CODBlops asa ca Breach went into oblivion. Some 3 years later am redescoerit ca detin acest joc si am zis ca ar merita sa ii dau o a doua sansa. Trei ore mai tarziu realizam ca acest joc nu mai e de vanzare pe Steam si ca nu mai exista nici macar un Master Server List la care sa putem indexa noi servere(jocul fiind multiplayer only). So I was virtually left with a digital relic, a game of a bygone era of functionality and that saddened me. Un an mai tarziu Steam introduce Steam Community Hub, ocazie cu care aflu ca acest joc inca are fani activi si din vorba in vorba ajungem sa repunem componenta vitala de multiplayer la lucru. Si pentru prima oara in existenta acestui joc, oamenii se distrau de minune si totul parea sa mearga bine. Evident, si acele zile au trecut si lumea iar si-a pierdut interesul, dar acest individ cu user-ul ME inca exista. Sta zilnic vreo 3 ore si se distreaza pe serverul lui, singur. Face trickshots pe mapa, distruge mapa si se simte bine. Ma rog, aproape bine. Singuratatea il distruge si spera ca macar unul din oamenii din jurul lui sa ii acorde 15 minute din viata lor pentru a reinvia aceasta obsesie sordida. Dupa ce termin de scris aceasta postare sper sa il mai prind online. Si cu aceasi ocazie vreau sa anunt lansarea unui proiect personal numit Resurrect A Game. Titlul e self explanatory, dar sper sa atrag atentia celor 2-3 cititori dedicati ai mei printr-un simplu like pe minuscula insula internautica prin care sper sa reusesc sa atrag atentia comunitatii de gameri asupra jocurilor care merita o a doua sansa sau asupra jocurilor care au fost categorisite prost si lasate uitarii.

Game On!

Till death does its p.art

   Nu am pretentii. Nu am mai scris de mult. Multe s-au intamplat in ultima vreme. Deschid browserul, blogspot.com. Nimic nou. 12k total views in some crooked times.New Post, new title, drop 3 rows, make 3 spaces. Am stat nitel pe loc. Gandurile urla atunci cand stai pe loc. Idei peste idei, imagini, sentimente si universuri paralele. What if? Lately I've been dreaming. After a long period of time where my sleep would only be interrupted by a catastrophic event, my brain finally got the courage to dream. An old recursive dream erupted with the power of all your childhood memories at once. It's a simple dream, I dream colors. Just plain vivid colors that cover my eyesight. It's a start, you know? I hear people talking about their awkward dreams of actions and people and feelings and sweat and frantic eye movement.All I got was a screen test running right in front of my mind while my thoughts traveled to simpler times. It was shocking.I could see two things at a time.They where all there, smiling and laughing. It's quite hard right now to decide if the dream is currently continuing as I type or it was there, waiting for me to remember it. Some things cannot be repaired. Some things disappear. I'd wish I could just go back. Forget all the stuff that happened and simply go back. I have an uncanny feeling of emptiness. As my social interactions grow cold, I realize how much has been taken away from me at the exact moment in time when I would of needed it the most. The saddest moment I had was the one where people would start to ignore me. Even worse, people would start to hate me. People I appreciated. People I cared about, in my stupid manner. Life starts out simple. And it carries on for a while with that impression. But then again, life is a cruel murderer. The more you wish for something to be real,the faster it gets stabbed right in front of your soul. I could go on with how our society does nothing more than complement life's deadly habits, but that's a thing all of us get to understand sooner or later. What have I become? I started a few things in my life, but few had continuity. And I feel like I murdered the brain's newborn with a deadly accuracy every time I would just give up. Dust can be smothered with some cloth, but the state of existence is the same! So why do I get ideas that want to burst out of my head when all I can do is watch time pass me by as I end up realizing I can't do nothing alone? Why torture me with things of mesmerizing qualities and possibilities when in the end, it all ends the same: like a book in a crowded dusty bookshelf?
   Sure, I could try to encourage myself, I could try to find people that go through the same never ending feeling. I could try to repair what can still be repaired, I need my hope back. I need my friends back. But everyone goes away, in the end. And if you know me, you stay the hell away from me! It's hard to carry a burden nobody seems willing to understand. It's quite sad to see stupid reasons tearing holes. Humans are indeed the worst drug of all times. Everyone I know seems to know me. Everybody seems to treat me like some sort of murder case to witch they already saw the ending. To some, I am the person with a what-the-fuck-ever attitude. To some, I am a lazy intelligent being. To some, I am the most dreadful person casting shadow to this earth. But I don't find myself inside those lines.
   I am a twisted little being. I adore the feeling you get when you realize it was all a dream. Turn back.